Nov 17, 2022

Our mileage per day has decreased significantly. The past couple of days we rode about 40 miles per day. Today will be more like fifteen. Most of the next week we will move slowly; no more than 80 miles maximum per day. This allows us to see and experience more.

Yesterday we left Khun Yuam and continued towards Mae Hong Son. An hour or so into the ride we pulled off at a “scenic viewpoint” sign.

It is pretty scenic.

There was a small shop advertising strawberry smoothies, so we decided to give it a try. Unfortunately they were out of strawberries and only had lemons, so we had two lemon smoothies.

There were a number of traveler stickers on the wall at the smoothie shop — mostly Thai bikers — so we added a 2RTG sticker.

The smoothie shop also sold stickers, so we bought a couple of Mae Hong Son Loop stickers to add to the collection.

“Tail of The Dragon”, eat your heart out…Four thousand curves and counting. Of course this is over a few hundred miles, but it’s still a fun, twisty road.

”Thirty thousand Baht and Ninety Six kilometers do not make you a biker.”
This sticker wasn’t for sale. It was stuck to the window at the roadside stop. But it speaks volumes. Not five minutes after taking this photo, I walked out to the parking lot to find a tourist trying to pick up a rented Suzuki V-Strom that was laying in a heap behind some parked cars.

Just south of Mae Hong Son we turned off and continued another seven miles down a small side road, the last of it dirt, until the road ended at a fast flowing river. We parked the bike and paid a guy in a boat 20 baht (about 60 cents) to take us across the river to the tiny village of Huay Pu Keng. This is one of three Kayan (or “Karen”) tribal villages near Mae Hong Son.

The village of Huay Pu Keng sits isolated across the Pai River in a section of carved out jungle.

The Kayan villages are often referred to as “Longneck” villages, for obvious reason. They welcome visitors (for a fee) and sell their wares, from scarves and blankets to musical instruments and carvings.

It was incredibly hot and humid at the village (okay, yes, I am from Texas, but this is a different level of humidity. And it’s winter! So I accept that I am a weather wimp.) After our return trip across the Pai we made the seven mile ride back to the main road and turned back south for a short distance to our guest house at Pha Bong. We had hopes to eat dinner at a place our host suggested that was only about one kilometer from our room, but we weren’t able to find it, even with directions from our host, Google Maps, and the army officers at the checkpoint near Pha Bong and two out of three of those dorections even agreed!). So we eventually gave up and rode into Mae Hong Son, and settled into a roadside restaurant for a plate of Chicken Pad Thai, a plate of Chicken Fried Rice with vegetables, some soup, and a large Singha beer, all for under four dollars.

While we had some good meals in Europe last summer, I am certainly not missing the price of dining out in Europe or the States. I’ll take these prices any day, and the fresh food is great too.

Nov 18-20, 2022

We’ve finally gotten far enough north that we can slow down… a lot. So our day from Mae Hong Son to Cave Lodge just north of Soppong was a total of about fifty miles and just under two hours.

On the way, we stopped at this scenic overlook.

The mountains in the distance are Myanmar.

While we were there, a Thai guy pulled up on a Harley. Aside from a few large BMW GS adventure bikes, this was the largest bike I had seen in Thailand.

Across the road from the acenic overlook is a large strip of market stalls operated by Lahu Na, or Black Lahu women. The Lahu are an ethnic people from China and Mainland Southeast Asia. The color (in this case black) refers to their dress color. They were selling local fruits and vegetables, handmade crafts, and more.

About six miles north of the small village of Soppong is the even tinier village of Ban Tham Lod. This is where John Spies, an Australian native, and his local Shan wife Nang settled in the mid-1980s, and began building what is now known as Cave Lodge, a basecamp of bungalows for adventure tourism, mostly involving hiking, kayaking, and caving.

The entrance to Cave Lodge.

Hanging out in the large common area at Cave Lodge. This is where meals are served, and there is a ton of information here about available caving and kayak trips that all start from here.

Our bungalow. Queen size bed, private bath, A/C, fridge, and a small porch off the back. $19 a night.

John is a fascinating guy. Over the past forty years or so he has explored northern Thailand extensively, and discovered many large cave systems. He is extremely knowledgeable about the geological makeup of the area, the flora and fauna that is found here, as well as the history of local people. Some of the caves he has discovered hold teak log coffins that are as much as two thousand years old.

We signed up for a kayak trip to a nearby cave that John had found called Susa Cave. Our day began with a forty minute ride in the back of a pickup truck to a location on the forest-lined Khong River, where we launched the inflatable kayaks and proceeded downriver for about fourteen kilometers.

Kayaking the Khong River. It had rained a bit the last few days so the river was muddier than usual.

We stopped to have lunch about half way down the river. The lodge provided fried noodles with vegetables, a hard boiled egg, and a muffin.

After beaching the kayaks, we waded across the river and hiked about a kilometer up through the forest to the mouth of the cave.

Our group consisted of a family from British Columbia and two brothers from Denmark, one of which has been living with his wife and kids in Bangkok for the past four years. And of course, us…”the old people”, as usual.

While it never got more than about waist deep, crossing the river was a bit more tricky than it looks. There were large rocks that you couldn’t see, and the current was fairly strong.

The cave is well hidden and deep into the forest. It took our guide a couple of tries and some hacking away at bamboo to find it.

Making our way down into the mouth of the cave.

Entrance to Susa Cave.

We walked through two large rooms in the cave. Each was probably 60 to 70 feet high and a hundred feet across. There was a small river in the cave, well below the level we were at. It was a bit eerie being in such a strange place with nothing but headlamps and a large light the guide brought. For some reason everyone felt the need to talk quietly, as if speaking at a normal level might disturb the spirits living in the cave.

Looking back out as we climbed back up out of the cave.

These falls flow out of the caves in the mountain and into the river just downstream of where we waded across.

After leaving the cave and wading back across the river, the truck picked us up and took us back to Cave Lodge just before sunset. It was a long tiring day but worth it to see a spectacular cave that few people even know about.

The next morning we were up early to hike about forty minutes to the back side, or exit, of the Tham Lod Cave. This large cave is a popular tourist spot. Guides lead tours through the cave by lantern, and you board a bamboo raft to ride the river through and out of the cave.

But we weren’t here for the cave tour. We had come to the exit of the cave, where the river flows out, at sunrise to watch 300,000 swifts leave the cave on their daily feeding ritual. The loud noise this huge flock of birds makes sounds like a very loud continuous screeching of a home smoke alarm.

Our early morning walk took us through the local village, where even the dogs felt it was too early to move.

Crossing the river on a bamboo bridge to get to the back side of Tham Lod Cave.

We passed several monks on the trail. One was carrying two walking sticks, and handed one of them to Diana just before a slippery muddy uphill bend in the trail. At the top of the hill, we met another older monk going down, and Diana handed the walking stick to him. Karma.

Looking out from just inside Tham Lod Cave. It was all but impossible to avoid getting hit by bird poop as hundreds of thousands of swifts circled and left the cave.

I hiked a ways into the cave and climbed to a point to get a better look at the birds exiting the cave. Here is a short video of them and all the noise they make. They’re still a bit hard to see in the video.

After walking back to Cave Lodge, we loaded up and hit the toad again for our next big ride: 27 miles to Pai.

Nov 20-22, 2022

Pai is a small town of about 2,200 people in Northern Thailand. Once situated in the “Golden Triangle” of opium production, its’ main focus has shifted to tourism over the past 20 or more years.

Pai is mostly known these days as a laid-back destination for backpackers and hippies. The town’s main street, known as the Pai Walking Street, is lined with bars and clubs, and each night comes alive with vendors selling food, drinks, and clothing. Mixed in, you’ll find shops and street vendors selling many varieties of weed. Much if not most of the crowd is straight out of a hippie scene: young, dreadlocks, peasant-style clothing, flip-flips or barefoot. Some truly look and fit the part. Others look like they just got off the plane or minibus (which they likely did) and are trying way too hard. If you’ve come to Thailand to experience the local cultures and the real people of Northern Thailand, this isn’t the place for you. Yes, there is still some authenticity here, but you have to look hard through the fog of Farangs to find it.

Pai in the daytime: mostly just another Northern Thailand town with a scooter problem, except about half the scooters here are being ridden by tourists.

A Yamaha 100cc streetbike. But in Pai it is re-labeled a “420” in a reference to the weed culture.

A bit hard to read but this is the menu outside The Alchemist, one of the boutique weed bars in town.

Neon in the window at Cheese Madness is similar to many of the wine bars and coffee shops.

Pai has become such a tourist attraction — not just for caucasian tourists but for Thai and other Asian people as well — that there are now more than 350 different places for tourists to stay in this small town, from a backpacker hostel at about $8 a night, to high end boutique hotels at hundreds of dollars a night.

I had read a couple of different times on the internet that Pai was a place that tourists “come for two days, and stay for two weeks”. On our first day here I would have disagreed with that, based on my anti-tourist preference for places I prefer to visit. But after a couple of days I started to see some of the positive aspects of Pai.

For one, it’s a mountain town, so the weather is a bit more pleasant, with cooler temperatures and less humidity. The locals seem to have adapted to the tourism industry and accepted the downsides that come with the economic upsides. Everyone we met (locals) were very friendly and welcoming, despite some of the less-than-friendly entitled farangs.

I love this permanent sign on the side of the road that says “Accident A Head”. I guess it’s cheaper than putting in a traffic light at the intersection. And besides, it’s typically just a bunch of foreign tourists on scooters crashing into each other anyway, so no great loss.

The streets are filled with tattoo parlors and massage parlors. Nearly all of the massage parlors here are legitimate Thai-style massage therapists. But since the town’s clientele are mostly entitled white tourists, the masseuses sadly have to put signs up that say “No Special. Only real massage”. Sad.

Tonight we walked the Pai Walking Street night market, and ate dinner in a “food crawl” through several street vendors. Here’s what we had for dinner:

6 Gyoza dumplings, assorted (2 pork, 2 shrimp, and 2 vegetable)
2 skewers of vegetables; one with duck and one with chicken
4 spring rolls; 2 pork and 2 vegetable
6 pieces of sushi
1 grilled cheese sandwich of feta and mozzarella cheese, tomatoes and black olives

Total price: 285 baht, or about $7.90

The night market is several blocks long.

We bought duck and chicken skewers from this street food vendor for 20 baht a skewer (about 55 cents).

A sign on the walking street advertising the Pai Enduro. Looks interesting.

Our accommodation was fantastic. It looked like what I would expect a small village of bungalows in Tahiti or Bali to be like, without the beautiful water of course.

Super comfortable bungalow with a bed and hammock on the front porch for relaxing.

Beautiful landscaping.

This cat came and hung out with us at breakfast.

I’m not going to be negative about Pai, but I am going to state my opinion. And it is just that: my opinion. Everyone has their own, and should experience these places in their own way. All in all, we enjoyed Pai, and would return, but similar to Vilcabamba, Ecuador, I felt a bit guilty at the destruction of local culture that the hippies have forced on this village, and that’s really not our way of traveling. We don’t want or intend to change the landscape, and Pai has definitely been changed. I guess it’s up to the locals to decide if it is for better or worse.

Nov 23, 2022

We left Pai and continued on Northern Thailand’s version of the Gringo Trail: the Mae Hong Son Loop.

About eight kilometers out of Pai we stopped at the World War Two Memorial Bridge. During the war, Japanese troops advancing through Thailand toward Burma recruited local Thai people to build a bridge across the Pai River.

The original bridge was burned as the Japanese army retreated from Thailand, cutting off Pai from Chiang Mai. The locals eventually rebuilt the bridge, and in the 1970s a new Memorial Bridge was constructed.

While stopped at the bridge, I saw this sticker on the rear window of a mini-bus. It translates to something like “Love life…Don’t fight wife.”

An hour or so later we stopped at a roadside coffee bar called Witch’s House.

The whole place is covered in Halloween-style witches and pumpkins.

When we pulled in, the parking area was full of large adventure touring bikes, all belonging to Thai nationals.

We decided to have lunch here so we sat on the back patio and ordered some Pad Thai. Not long after finishing lunch, about fifteen guys pulled up on rental Yamaha scooters, all wearing Yamaha Malaysia shirts. It turns out they were Yamaha dealers in Malaysia, joined by the General Manager of Marketing from Hong Leung, the Malaysian Yamaha importer. I told them I had recently retired from Yamaha US, and we had a great conversation.

“Yamaha US and Malaysia Meet in Thailand”. Great fun running into Tim and the Yamaha dealers from Malaysia.

Back on the road, we said goodbye to the Mae Hong Son Loop as we turned north again and headed toward Chiang Dao.

We stopped at the Mok Fa waterfall.

Watch out! In my prior life, we referred to these not-quite-correct interpretations as “Jenglish”, or “Japanese English”. Here I guess it’s “Thenglish”

Amazing, amusing, and a bit confusing to see these monks, who (I thought) have given up earthly possessions, suddenly produce an iPhone from somewhere in their robes, and take photos of one another at the falls.

Safety rules if swimming at Mok Fa.

#4 is especially important.

Continuing north, it was becoming increasingly clear that we had left the Farang Trail. We didn’t see another white person the rest of the day, and English subtitles had faded from most signs. We pulled into our lodging at MonChom Doi and walked to dinner nearby.

Our lodging for the night.

Our hosts. As usual, extremely friendly and helpful, even with no English on her end and no Thai on ours.

This seems like a good time to mention that I’ve been dealing with a language problem since we boarded the plane to Bangkok. Actually, way earlier than that. But I’m a slow learner.

Diana is more hesitant to speak when she feels she won’t be understood, regardless of whether it’s in English or Thai. Not me. I’ll try either, and usually fail spectacularly. She is good about just pointing to menu items or pictures. Not me. I’ll say it.

So I’ll point out that way back in Italy about a dozen years ago we were in a gelato shop and the owner told me that my “English is very poor” in a heavy Italian accent. That should have been a clue.

On the plane to Bangkok, Diana ordered the pasta dinner by pointing at the menu. I said “I’ll have the salmon.” I got beef. Then I ordered white wine. I got water. Then I ordered coffee. I got water. She got exactly what she pointed at on the menu. That should have been a clue.

When we got to Bangkok, we jumped in a Tuktuk. The driver asked “Where are you going?”
“River City”, I replied (a large shopping center).
“”Where?”, he asked again.
“River City.”

He still didn’t understand. He motioned for me to get out of the Tuktuk. We walked a block down the street to a market stall. The owner spoke English. They had a quick conversation and then the stall owner asked me, “Where are you going?”
“River City”, I said again.

He turned to the Tuktuk driver and said “River City”, in an accent that sounded (to me at least) exactly like mine: American.

“Ahhh! River City!”, the driver replied. We walked back to the Tuktuk and the driver took us straight to River City.

That should have been a clue. But I’m still at a loss as to what I would have done differently in that case.

At dinner in Chiang Dao, my communication skills continued to falter. When I ordered two Tom Yum soup dinners, I pointed to the menu (I’m a slow learner, but I can still learn), then showed the waiter two fingers. In my feeble mind, that translates to “times two” or two orders. But here, it means “one order for the two of us; we’ll share.” Which it turns out was a good thing, as the soup bowl was big. As if to confirm this, the same thing happened when I tried to order two beers: two fingers = one bottle, two glasses.

In the end, I’m at least learning, if slowly.

Nov 27, 2022

For about ten days now I’ve managed to prove myself wrong at the end of each day.

Every day I tell myself “it can’t get any better than this”. Then it does.

I knew the Mae Hong Son Loop was famous for its’ scenery, and there is a lot to like about it. Most of the loop passes through forest on mountains and hillsides, with patches carved out by local farmers who grow everything from tropical fruits to rice, tea and coffee.

What I didn’t know was how good the road itself would be. Yes, there are occasional spots where a hill has slid due to all the rain, taking sections of road with it, or simply depositing the contents of the hillside onto the road; utility poles, power lines, trees and mud. But these are few and far between compared to the spectacular sections of smooth twisty pavement.

On the way to Pai from Cave Lodge, I thought it couldn’t get any better. This was like the Tail of the Dragon, but with much more elevation change.

If you’ve ever done the climb up Ortega Highway from Lake Elsinore to the Lookout, think of that road and those curves. Now add lush forest, and extend it for about 60 miles.

Then we rode from Pai to the Witch’s House at Pa Pae, and I thought to myself, “Okay I stand corrected: it does get better. But this must be the best.”

Screenshot of the section of 1095 to the Witch’s House. Not much rest but lots of smiling.

Then we left Pa Pae and continued on 1095 towards Chiang Dao, and I said, “This is my favorite stretch of road.”

A day later and north of Chiang Dao we headed to Doi Mae Salong and then on to Pha Chang Noi, also known as Magic Mountain. By now I decided it was best to just keep my mouth shut, as it seemed like every time I said “it can’t get any better”, the road proved me wrong.

You can leave the sound off for the video…unless you just want to experience the sound of the tremendous power of the Honda CB500 (or just wind noise in an iPhone).

The view from Route 1148 Cafe on Magic Mountain.

Route 1148 Cafe. Popular biker hangout on Magic Mountain.

Most of our dinners are at places like this one (Na khor koi, in Sila Phet). Outside table, under a thatched roof, overlooking the hills and fields.

The menu at Na khor koi. Just pick something under “Yummy”.

Looking out at the fields from our room near Pua. This place had no English name, and was down a tiny road behind town. My kinda place.

Yet again this morning, on our way to Number Three Curve (and beyond), the roads continued to surpass my expectations, getting better and better; smoother, more fun, with lots of decreasing radius corners on steep hills just to keep you alert.

We had just left our room this morning when we passed a sign that said “No. 3 Curve 26 kilometers”, and I was suddenly reminded that we needed to go there.

You would think we were at Disneyland from all of the tourists posing for photos in the middle of the road. It’s not just motorcyclists who appreciate these beautiful stretches of tarmac.

Pretty obvious why they call it the “Number 3 Curve”

So yes, there are lots of interesting sights in Northern Thailand, but if you look around on your way there, you may find, as we did, that the road itself is one of the most interesting. This place gives true meaning to the old saying, “it’s not the destination, but the journey.” This may sound crazy, but I think I like the roads here better than the Swiss Alps. The scenery may not be quite as dramatic, but the road itself is worth every minute.

How can you not love Thailand for motorcycle touring?

It’s true…I love Thailand roads.

Nov 30, 2022

I’m way behind and it’s been a crazy couple of weeks. So here’s the beginning of my attempt to catch up.

Having made it back to Chiang Mai and returned the bike, we boarded a mini-bus for Elephant Nature Park on our last full day in Thailand. This large preserve operates mainly as a rescue organization for elephants who were mis-treated or used as rides. They have several dozen elephants including babies. In addition they operate Cat Kingdom, a rescue area for cats, and a dog rescue site as well.

The first part of our tour was on the “Skywalk”, an elevated walkway around the area where some of the more recent and/or less “sociable” elephants live. Our guide, Chilli, explained that many of these elephants retain bad memories of being abused and this of course makes them less tolerant and suspicious of people. Handlers are assigned to specific elephants and work together with them for years.

Even so, these elephants don’t mind taking an occasional snack from a stranger. I wasn’t aware that tamarind grew in pods on a tree, or that elephants like to snack on them.

Tamarind pods on a tree above the elephants.

This is a birthday cake for an elephant. The park makes these cakes and presents the cake and bunches of bananas to an elephant on its birthday, then videos the carnage of cake eating and presents the video to the sponsor of that particular elephant. We got to watch this process in action.

They lined four or five elephants up about 50 meters away and they obediently waited until the cake was placed on the ground and surrounded by bananas. Then they told them Happy Birthday and they took off for the cake. This photo is after much of the cake is gone but still quite a few bananas remain.

We had a chance to get up close with some of the elephants. This one swatted Diana in the head with her ear about a second after this photo was taken. (Fortunately these are Asian elephants rather than African elephants, so their ears are smaller, but it was still a good whack. The one just behind her (you can see her head next to my left shoulder) is the oldest in the park at 104 years old.

It was fun to watch the little ones playing in the water and rolling in the mud. And then there’s that moment when Diana got a little too “up close” with the elephant…

Then we were off to the Cat Kingdom. Elephant Nature Park has two thousand cats in its’ enclosure. Four hundred of those have been spayed, neutered and fully vaccinated, and are allowed to interact with visitors.

This guy was one of my favorites. But with two thousand to choose from…

Elephant Nature Park has a volunteer program where you can volunteer to work with the animals. They give you room and board in exchange for a week (or more) of time spent helping out at the park. Something to consider if you’re an animal lover and want to travel slow and cheap in Thailand.

After a full day at the Nature Park we returned to Rider’s Corner for one last dinner.

Enjoying a couple of the local favorites over dinner.

This guy was hilarious. He lives in one of several tanks at Riders Corner, right next to the table where we ate breakfast and dinner. He would interact with me if I waved to him, puffing out his fins and racing backward and forward, then just sit there and smile at me. We did this several times and he just kept coming back to me. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun with a fish.

And the next morning before heading to the airport we stopped by Dollar Coffee (which, okay, isn’t a dollar but is worth every baht).

The owner at Dollar Coffee is a great example of how incredibly friendly and welcoming all Thai people were to us during our travels. I stopped here for coffee or a chai latte several times while in Chiang Mai. She was so warm and genuine.

This is the wall behind the counter at Dollar Coffee. It’s a small shop and just her and one employee (who is probably her daughter) but mostly just her. So she has a post-it note for all of her different opening times and when she needs to run to the market. Cheaper than a “Back at…” clock sign I guess.

Once we’re home I’ll do a follow-up post detailing our expenses for the entire trip. But for now…next country, please.

Dec 1, 2022

After my comments about Thailand being the “Land of a million scooters”, and my quips about the traffic in Bangkok, our friend Graeme from Australia said “You haven’t been to Vietnam yet, much less India”.

And he was right.

A short flight from Chiang Mai took us to Hanoi, where we checked into a hotel in the Old Quarter. We walked several blocks to dinner at a restaurant overlooking a large, busy intersection. The restaurant was on the other side of the intersection from us, and there are no traffic controls: no stop lights, crosswalks, or other aids to help a pedestrian cross. We stood and watched for a few minutes as a torrent of scooters, cyclos (three wheeled bicycle taxis), cars, and mini-buses approached from five different directions, converged on the intersection simultaneously, and all emerged unscathed on the other side. It reminded me a bit of watching the Texas A&M marching band, 350 strong, perform a similar maneuver mid-field with great precision. This wasn’t nearly as precise, but it was successful. I still can’t fully understand how so many vehicles and pedestrians can occupy a space that size at speed and nobody collides.

We watched several pedestrians enter the swarm. They almost never turned their heads; they simply stepped off the curb, looked straight ahead, and walked with deliberate movements. The vehicles managed to adjust without hesitation to keep the flow. It was frightening yet amazing to watch.

We finally decided that if we couldn’t get across the street, we couldn’t eat dinner. So we found the narrowest neck of the intersection and planned our crossing there. Compared to the seasoned locals, I looked like a chicken crossing the road, starting and stopping, my head flinging wildly right and left checking to see if I needed to jump or dive to avoid getting hit. Diana held onto my shirt tail. I’m pretty sure her eyes were closed. It wasn’t pretty but we made it across and up to the third floor balcony where we found a table to watch the craziness from above. I felt like a spectator at a NASCAR race: rooting for everyone but secretly watching for the carnage to happen. Keep in mind that nearly EVERY intersection in Vietnam looks like this; we just happened upon this viewpoint as an example.

After dinner, with much more “expertise” gained from watching, we made it back across the intersection and back to the hotel. I wasn’t ready to admit to Diana that I had doubts about riding the bike through Hanoi traffic (this from a guy who spent two decades splitting lanes on L.A. freeways every day). I figured I’d just tuck in and draft a scooter or two. Besides, we had a couple of days yet before I had to make that leap.

Here’s another video of a smaller side street in Hanoi, outside our hotel. Similar to the above video, you may have to watch it a couple of times to catch everything that’s happening. In the first half, watch the guy on the parked scooter on the far right that is loading his family. Typical of families here, they don’t own cars; the scooter is the family car. If you look closely when they ride away, their five year old (or so) is standing on the floorboard in front of Dad. If he were younger than three years old, he would have been squeezed between Mom and Dad on the seat. In the second half of the video, you can see another typical uncontrolled intersection in play.

The next morning a van picked us up at the hotel and took us to Ha Long Bay, a mystical place, where we boarded a tender that took us to our small, 14-cabin cruise “ship” for a two day overnight cruise around Ha Long Bay.

Our Orchid cruise for the next 2 days.

It is a pretty spectacular place.

After lunch they took us to Cat Ba Island where we toured the Trung Trang Cave.

Back from our “cruise”, the time had come. We picked up our Honda CB500X from Tigit Motorbikes, packed up, and rolled into Hanoi traffic. Looking at Google Maps the night before, it looked like we only had to go about five miles on one road before we would cross the Red River and be out of the worst of it. Of course that’s not how it actually went. My gps app had a different idea, and instead of taking the shortest route out of Hanoi, it took us directly into the thick of things. I felt like the adrenaline rush/butterflies of the first lap of a race, before things get sorted and everything calms down a bit. Only I was the only one on the first lap. Everyone else had been in the race for years.

About 45 minutes later we finally approaced the bridge. It would be another hour or more before the traffic thinned enough for me to relax a bit, but I was happy to be out of the city and heading north.

My first day of riding in Vietnam makes Bangkok look like child’s play.

Graeme was right. But I’m still not ready for India.

December 4-8, 2022

Our first day out of Hanoi was a long one at around 145 miles. For the first couple of hours north, the road is fairly flat and straight, and only towns and traffic limit the average speed to between thirty and thirty five miles per hour. After that, you begin to enter the karst mountains of the Ha Giang area. The twisty mountain roads, combined with the conditions and the obstacles mean that for the next five or six days our average speed will be between twenty and twenty five miles per hour, and we will very rarely see above forty mikes per hour.

Our first night in the North is spent on the shore of Ba Be Lake in a homestay. This is the most common type of accommodation here. It’s basically a Bed & Breakfast. Many homes here are built large, with three or four floors and two or more bedrooms per level. The local village or community comes together to help a family build a home, and that home often will house an extended family. This may likely be the only home the family ever lives in, possibly for several generations.

Accomodations (homestays) are plentiful and easy to find, identified by a sign out front that may say “Homestay” or “Nhà Nghi” (“Guest house”), or simply “Có phòng” (“room available”). Most of the homestays we’ve stayed at are between VND250,000 ($10) and VND300,000 ($12) per night, including breakfast and often dinner. Some charge extra for dinner.

The view of Ba Be Lake from our terrace.

Homestay means eating meals with the host family. There are a lot of cultural traditions and rules that go along with dinner in Vietnam, and we’re learning (and making mistakes) as we go.

Vietnamese drip coffee with condensed milk on the terrace in the morning.

A member of the local H.O.G. Chapter headed to market.

We tend to keep our helmet intercoms on while we ride, not only to allow us to discuss what we are seeing, but more importantly to warn each other about what we are seeing. Live obstacles are a constant on the roads here. In a matter of two or three miles, we will see all of the following, in descending order of quantity:

• Dogs: they sleep on the shoulder of the road, often stretching into the road. They are unfazed by vehicles passing within inches of them at speed. They also wander the roads but rarely step out in front of you (but don’t count on that). We’ve never had one chase us.
• Chickens: they hang out mostly in the ditches on the sides of the road, but occasionally try to cross the road. Two have paid the price for their ill-timed attempts, taking bank-shots off the side of the bike, but living to try again.
• Toddlers: this place (okay Graeme, probably India as well) established the saying “go play in the road”. It’s common to see toddlers (and older children) walking or playing on the shoulders, unattended. On school days, there may be dozens of children walking along the shoulders. Often a small group of what looks like ages 4 to 5, walking together but without anyone older, miles from anywhere. For all of the potential for chaos, things seem to go smoothly, and the cars and trucks barely slow down.
• Pigs: In some areas more than others, we’ve passed black pigs and piglets. They’re cute, but they’re not going to bounce off the bike like a chicken.
• Water buffalo: these are usually in herds of three but sometimes more, being herded by a farmer along the road. They often take up the entire road.

And cows:

Headed out of Ba Be to Meo Vac:

We made it into Meo Vac, which was our destination, from Ba Be. I had found a guest house a couple of hours earlier on Booking.com and made a reservation. When we pulled up to the address, the name wasn’t the same and a woman standing outsode kept smiling and pointing at the place as if to say, “Yes, you’re here. Come on in.” Something just didn’t seem right, so we rode a little ways down the street and stopped and I googled the place I had booked. It turns out that our guest house was actually in Dong Van, another fourteen miles up the road (almost another hour). I don’t know if Booking.com legitimately screwed up the address, or if this lady somehow highjacked their listing, but we left Meo Vac and continued towards Dong Van.

Stopping for gas on the way to Meo Vac. After about a gallon she had to stop and switch to a different 55 gallon drum.

Not far out of Meo Vac we came around a corner and were smacked straight in the face by an incredible panorama. This was the Ma Pi Leng Pass.

We eventually found our guest house in Dong Van and checked in. We knew before we arrived that we were supposed to have a special permit to travel in this area (Called an “Entry Permit to the Restricted Border Area” — more on this in the next post), but we hadn’t obtained it yet. Our host told us that we were required to have it in order to stay in the area, and that he would show me where to go in the morning to get it. This past week has been the first time in all of my travels that I have relied on Google Translate in order to communicate, and I’m surprised at how well it works. I’ve had full conversations with locals just using our phones and it hasn’t failed me yet. Once in a while I’ll stumble into someone who doesn’t read, but playing the audio overcomes the issue.

Since this guest house didn’t serve food, we walked down the street to a restaurant for dinner. This place became our go-to for meals over the next couple of days.

In the morning the wife of our host took me on the back of her scooter to the local police station, where it took all of ten minutes to obtain our permits. Then we were off to the North Pole, or the Lüng Cú Flagpoint, the northernmost point in Vietnam, on the border with China.

I can probably count the number of times I’ve ridden as a passenger over the last 50 years on one hand, so I had to document the fact that I was riding as a passenger on a scooter, being operated by a woman I met ten minutes earlier, in a foreign country. Kinda cool, actually.

The tower is 30 meters (98 feet) tall, and sits at 4600 feet above sea level. The flag is 54 square meters. It’s over 800 steps from the bottom of the hill to the flag, but we were able to ride to the visitor center and park there. From thete, it’s 289 steps to the base of the monument and tower, and another 135 steps up a spiral staircase inside the tower to the viewing area.

The large area of formal buildings across from the monument is a Buddhist Monastery. Just beyond that is China. Note how abruptly the road stops on the right.

We headed back down from Lûng Cú back to Dong Van for another night, eating dinner at the same restaurant. I had a great tasting bowl of braised pork stew, and several hours later it retaliated. I ended up sick enough that we spent an extra day in Dong Van so I could (somewhat) recover.

I had planned to ride over the “Sky Path”, a narrow trail really intended for hiking that runs above the highway and offers an even grander view of Ma Pi Leng, but my stomach troubles canceled that.

Feeling weak but at least able to leave the bathroom for more than a few minutes, we headed off in a shroud of clouds and mist to begin moving south towards Yen Minh and Ha Giang. We quickly realized two things:

1. We were swimming upstream against the Gringo Current. Apparently most tourists start their travel in this area in Ha Giang or Yen Minh, and rent scooters there to travel to Ma Pi Leng Pass. We continued to pass hoardes of American and German backpackers on scooters in trains of 12 to 15, being led by a guide on a scooter with a 10-foot flagpole on the back and a large Vietnam flag. Others were on their own, in groups of four to six scooters. We helped one of these groups find their way after they came up on a “road closed” block and didn’t know where to go. Overall I was very glad to have avoided all of that and to be going in the opposite direction.

And

2. All of these tourists,riding scooters in the mist and drizzle for hours wearing thin plastic ponchos and old, tattered open-face helmets with no face protection, were not going to see anything when they got to Ma Pi Leng because the clouds were so low and visibility was down to maybe 100 feet at most. We had been lucky and arrived before the weather changed.

We continued south in limited visibilty past Ha Giang. The roads flattened out more often and we were able to increase our speed when the clouds broke. It was strange to hit 35 mph and even 40 on occasion. Forty miles an hour suddenly felt like we were on an open freeway doing sixty five. The random dog sleeping on the road, chickens or kids would reign us back in. Unfortunately south of Ha Giang the road also becomes clogged with large trucks, and for the first time I was able to find a use for this large 500cc engine, though the roads still made passing difficult.

We ended up at another home this night — Toong Homestay — and had a very enjoyable meal. I wasn’t fully recovered from my food issue of a couple of days ago, so I was very cautious and didn’t eat much.

At dinner we met Jimmy and Soh Kwan from Singapore. They attended University of Houston in the 1980s and returned to Singapore after living in the States for 15 years. They were touring Vietnam with a local guide, Mr Tanh. We really enjoyed their company, and learning more about both Vietnam people and culture from Mr Tanh and Singapore from Jimmy and Soh Kwan. My favorite take-away was Jimmy’s description of housing in Singapore. We were talking about the limited space and expense of housing — especially ground level real estate — and he said something to the effect of “we are all trapped thirty five floors in the air.”

Jimmy and Soh Kwan on the right; Mr Tanh in the center.

Our dinner at Toong Homestay. The family served the guests at one table, then set a separate table next to us and they all sat there. Understandable as it was a large group. I wish I had been feeling better and thought to take photos.

Vietnam Driving Test

1. Locate and identify the following vehicle controls:
A. Horn
B. Horn
C. Horn

Congratulations. You passed.

For extra credit, answer the following questions:

2. You are approaching a 4-way intersection. On your right there is a large group of scooters approaching, including a man on a scooter with a full size chest freezer strapped to the rear rack and a family of four and their dog on a scooter, with the driver talking on his phone. From the left is a farmer herding three large water buffalo. Heading directly towards you is a large truck half in your lane. You will all reach the uncontrolled intersection at the same time. Two dogs lie sleeping in the right lane and chickens are crossing diagonally from southeast to northwest. Your correct action is:
A. Honk
B. See A
C. Both A & B
D. All of the above

3. You are leaving the driveway of a gas station and intend to turn right onto the street. Your correct action is:
A. Honk
B. Do not slow down. Accelerate into the street without looking left, right, or even up from your cell phone.
C. Both A & B

4. You are driving a large bus or truck on a mountain road. When going uphill you are forced to slow to 10mph. When going downhill you can accelerate to speeds beyond any safe limit. Your correct action is:
A. Honk
B. Always straddle the center line to prevent the safety of any other vehicle on the road.
C. Both A & B

Note: The above descriptions of vehicles, livestock, driver actions etc are all taken from not just real, but very frequent daily occurrences. Yes, even the guy carrying the full size chest freezer on the back of his scooter. He passed me three days ago, right after the guy carrying the full size wardrobe on the back of his scooter. I think they might have been part of a moving company (“Two Men and a Scooter”?)